Jimmy Goes on Holiday

This time on The Adventures of Jimmy the Hose Fitter:

Having saved humanity from certain doom, Jimmy has returned to Earth as a hero. Deciding to take a well-earned holiday after his big adventure, Jimmy takes a trip to Washington D.C. to do some sightseeing.

‘And to your left, you’ll see the entrance to the Oval Office,’ droned the tour guide, gesturing towards a large open doorway.

Jimmy stood on his tip-toes to see over the crowd of tourists as they ooh’d and aah’d over the lush décor. After spending a few hours floating around in outer space, Jimmy didn’t find the sight quite as impressive. So far, his all-expenses paid trip around the world, provided by a very grateful NASA, had been pretty boring.

Well, in comparison to his astronaut experience most things seemed pretty boring these days.

Stiffling a yawn, Jimmy trailed behind the tour group as they moved to the next stop on the White House tour. Hearing a loud clatter, Jimmy stopped to watch as the door to a Utility Room banged open just behind him. A man in an oversized maintance uniform stormed out, one side of his comically large fake moustache drooping down over his lip.

The man stopped in his tracks as he noticed Jimmy staring at him. ‘You didn’t see anything…’ he said, reaching up to smooth his moustache back into place. The man looked left and right suspiciously, before running off down the hallway.

Jimmy frowned and walked over to the still open Utility Room door, intent on closing it. His tour group was long gone by this point, so he decided to take a quick peek inside.

He was horrified by the sight that greeted him.

The hose management system in this place was atrocious! There was no way his superior Taipan training would let him leave this room in such a mess. Pulling out the tool kit he carried with him at all times, Jimmy got to work rearranging and tidying everything he could get his hands on.

As he finished, Jimmy noticed a small tank with a skull and crossbones on the side wedged in between two pipes.

Well, Jimmy thought. That doesn’t go there..

Unscrewing the hose attached to the tank, Jimmy turned and chucked it in the bin. Looking around in satisfaction at his handywork, Jimmy walked out of the room and closed the door firmly behind him.

Continuing down the hallway, Jimmy came upon his tour group right as a man in a gas mask jumped onto the table in the centre of the room, brandishing a remote control.

‘Nobody move!’ yelled the man. ‘I have rigged the entire White House with a poisonous gas. You’re all doomed!’

Laughing evilly, the masked man triumphantly pushed the button on his remote. The crowd screamed in horror as…

Nothing happened.

The masked man frowned and pushed the button a second time. Again, nothing.

‘Uh-oh,’ said the man, as he was tackled off the table by security.

As the crowd buzzed around him, Jimmy decided it might be time to head back to his hotel. He’d had enough excitement last week, he didn’t want to get involved in any more.

Making the trip down the street, Jimmy noticed a crowd gathered around a big screen TV in a store front. As he got closer, he could see live footage of the White House as a reporter stood on the front lawn.

‘After this afternoon’s foiled attack, police are attributing the supervillain’s failure to a poorly secured hose line. Had the poison been properly attached, today’s outcome could have been much worse. Back to you, Tim.’

Jimmy laughed as he continued on his way. ‘Maybe he should have done his hose assembly training through Taipan.’