Murder in the House of Taipan    

The muffled chatter dimmed to silence. “All rise” boomed the voice of the bailiff.   

“Judge Troy Mattson presiding” came the voice again as a mid-height, physically robust gentleman entered the room.   

“You may be seated” returned the bailiff once the Judge sat down.   

“The events as they occurred” said the prosecutor, “are plain and simple. It was on the final day of Linda’s employment at Taipan Hydraulic Hose Systems that she, after 20 years of seemingly dedicated service, chose to take the course of action that she did.”   

“And what was that action?” asked Judge Mattson.  

“Linda took it upon herself to retrieve a gun housed on the premises, and did thereby shoot her fellow worker, a Mr Neil Macleod.”     

Linda burst into tears. “I didn’t do anything.” She stood as her voice grew louder, “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. I was just getting him back for the fifteen years of immaturity and bad jokes!”    

“Sit down Linda or I will hold you in contempt!” shouted the Judge.   

“The crime was heinous, Your Honour. Several bullets were fired at Mr Macleod from the gun found at the scene.”   

We call Mel Allford a fellow worker as our first witness.  

“Mrs Allford, can you please relay to the members of the jury the events leading up to such a horrific crime?”   

“Yes,” began Mel. “I heard voices downstairs in the Hose Assembly area, and I could tell it was Linda and Neil. Neil was yelling and Linda was laughing hysterically. I heard one of the assembly team yell out, ‘Look out, Neil, she’s got the gun!’ Then I heard Neil fall, saying ‘I’ve been hit!’ 

I immediately rang triple zero. Although it only took a few minutes for the police to arrive and arrest Linda, the damage was done. I heard everyone downstairs yelling. It was horrible.”   

“As you can see,” said the prosecutor. “This is an open and shut case. Linda is without a shadow of doubt, guilty of the murder of Neil Macleod. We call for the maximum sentence of life imprisonment!”  

“If I may, Your Honour,” said the Defence Lawyer. “I’d like to call Linda to the stand”. 

“Linda, please recall the actual events that occurred that day”.   

Still sobbing Linda began. “It was my last day, Neil’s always fooling around and when he walked from his office out to the assembly area, I thought here’s my opportunity to get back at him for all those years of torment.   

Yes, we keep a gun onsite, and we have thousands of bullets. It’s a wad gun and the bullets are made of foam. Members of the jury, the foam bullets are used to clean out hoses prior to shipping to customers. I did hit him, several times and like I said, he deserved it. I was hardly going to hurt him with bullets made of foam!”   

“Where is Mr Macleod now?” said Judge Troy Mattson.   

A giggle came from the back row of the courtroom. “Good on you Mel, we got her a goodie!”   

Mel and Neil began to laugh.   

Judge Mattson rolled his eyes, “case dismissed!”