A Lot to Unpack

Of all the things Rick thought he’d have to deal with today, an office full of packing peanuts was not one of them. 

Sure, it was the first of April, so he’d expected some shenanigans – a whoopee cushion, fake bugs in the lunchroom, the batteries removed from his mouse. This was different. 

This was messy.  

“Luke!” he yelled over his shoulder as foam pellets cascaded over his polished shoes. “Clear your schedule. We’ve got some interrogating to do.” 

Everyone gathered in the warehouse. Rick and Luke stood up front to address the group.  

“Right,” began Rick. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.” He started pacing, addressing his team like an Army Sergeant addressing their troops. “Does anyone want to own up?” 

Nobody said a word.  

“Okay,” exhaled Rick. “The hard way it is.” Suddenly, he sprang at Austin, getting uncomfortably close to his face. 

“Where were you between 5pm and 10pm last night?!” Rick demanded. 

“I was at Wrestlemania, and it was awesome! This dude hit this guy in the back with a chair, and then-” 

Satisfied that Austin’s alibi checked out, Rick turned his attention to the next suspect. 

“Rachael, did you fill my office with packing peanuts? You can tell me, I can take it,” he lied. 

“No, those things are expensive,” Rachael scoffed. “I’m seeing T-Swizzle in Brisbane, Sydney, Perth, and Melbourne – twice. I’m living on two-minute noodles until June,” she sighed, smitten.  

The interrogation continued, with Rick becoming increasingly desperate and deranged. He was reenacting the foam overflowing from his office using a series of incomprehensible hand gestures when Sean noticed something peculiar. 

“Hey,” said Sean. “Where’d Luke go?” 

Everyone turned to the blank space that Luke had occupied just moments before. 

“Yeah, and how come you haven’t questioned him? He’s the Warehouse Supervisor! He could get truckloads of packing peanuts delivered and nobody would bat an eyelid!” exclaimed Dylan. 

Rick narrowed his eyes, silently staring into the distance for several moments. “I have some business to attend to,” he said cryptically. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.” 

The next day, everyone returned to work. Well, everyone except… 

“Hey Rick, have you seen Luke?” enquired Rachael. “He’s usually in by now.” 

“Oh, he won’t be in for the rest of the week,” said Rick, smiling as he taped up an order.  

“…Why?” pressed Rachael. “Is he alright?” 

“Yeah, he’s totally fine. He’s just busy removing three million packing peanuts from his house. Strange coincidence that, isn’t it?”