
Law & Order: Trivial Pursuit
The text came through at 10:43pm. By midnight, Danielle was on a flight to Adelaide.
She pulled into the branch driveway in the early hours of the morning. Claudia was waiting for her outside.
“Suspect’s being held in the meeting room,” Claudia said, handing Danielle a manilla folder as she fell into step with her. “Says he’ll only speak to you.”
Danielle flipped open the folder and briefly glanced at the contents before snapping it shut. “What’s your read?” she asked, stopping at the top of the stairs.
“He’s cocky. Thinks he’s smarter than us,” Claudia said. “We can use that to our advantage,” she finished.
Danielle nodded and opened the door.
Remmie was sitting in the fluorescent glow of a single spotlight, a distinct purple bruise blossoming across his left cheek. He smiled as Danielle stepped into the room.
“Detective Paterson! I’m a big fan. Hey, quick question: what’s our policy on assault? ‘Cause your friend here clocked me pretty good just before you arrived,” he said, pointing to his face.
Danielle settled into the chair opposite Remmie while Claudia opted to stand off to the side, glowering at him.
“Strictly zero tolerance, Remmie, but let’s chat about why I’m here first,” replied Danielle. She flicked open the folder with practiced ease and pretended to read over the details she’d already memorised. After a few seconds, she let out an impressed whistle.
“A perfect score across all four quiz categories. You must really know your coworkers,” she said, smiling.
Remmie leaned back in his chair, a smug grin taking over his face. “What can I say? I’m very invested in the lives of the people I spend most of my time with. We’re like one big, happy family,” he responded.
“Yeah, totally,” said Danielle. “It’s just, you know Jess, right? In Marketing? She makes our internal newsletters and organisational charts, so if anyone was going to get a perfect score, I’d probably expect it to be her. Seeing as she’s dealing with the content the quiz was based on all the time,” she finished, leaning forwards on her elbows and interlocking her fingers.
“Maybe she sucks at her job?” Remmie offered.
Danielle smiled. “Maybe,” she conceded.
Trying a different tack, Danielle removed an A4 portrait from the folder. “Do you know who this is?” she asked, sliding the image across the table.
Remmie picked up the photo and examined it briefly. “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure this is a dog,” he answered. “Looks like a Whippet or something.”
“Close,” Danielle replied. “Her name’s Ziggy. She’s my Greyhound, but more importantly, she was one of the answers in the pet-themed quiz. Question six, actually.”
For a brief moment, Remmie appeared panicked before recomposing himself. “That doesn’t mean anything,” he said. “I took that quiz a few weeks ago. It makes sense that I’d have forgotten the answers by now.”
“You’ve got me there,” admitted Danielle. “It’s not like it was yesterday. A smart guy like you would remember something that recent, right?” she asked innocently.
“Yeah, of course!” Remmie replied.
“Perfect. What did Claudia want to be when she grew up?” Danielle asked.
Remmie was perplexed. “How’s that relevant?”
“Well, that’s what the quiz that came out yesterday was about – childhood dream jobs,” Danielle explained. “But surely you already knew that? I mean, it says here you got the answer right in .3 of a second,” she said.
Now Remmie was downright flustered. “I want a lawyer,” he said.
“No problem,” Danielle obliged. “But can I tell you something, just between you and me?” she asked, leaning forwards conspiratorially.
“Things are looking pretty bad for you, Remmie. I’ve been doing this for a while, and my sense is you’re not the only party involved. To be honest, this whole thing reeks of coordination. Maybe we could do a deal, if -”
“Dylan, Rodwell and Michael helped!” Remmie blurted. “It was practically their idea!”
Danielle nodded as she stood up from the table. “Thanks, Remmie. You’ve been very helpful,” she said, ignoring his pleas for leniency.
Claudia held open the door and waited until Danielle was well out of earshot before turning back to the table. “Next time,” she threatened, “I’m bringing knuckledusters.”